Yowwww! Hi and meeeowwwwelcome back again!

I am sorry to have been absent from your screens for a wee while, but to be honest yon Cathead has been taking it nap easy, nursing a psychic bruising given to me by me arch enemy. . .the bloke up the road ( read my previous on this battle royal of the age ). More to follow on that.

Whilst curled nicely in my basket, witnessing yon Buffy and Dingo playfully tearing abouts the house , most the time Keeper is lounged in the settee lazily watching the WC footie, a continually replenished glass of dry white in hand.

A few moments of interest spark a twitch of a thin-skinned bat cat ear as I lay resting. In fact two items of recurrance that a) never seem to ever go away and b) confound my doctored cat brain enormously. They are yet more Geat Life Mysteries ( see my cat Tags below left for the others I have to date posted.)

I'll keep it short and sweet my dear pigeons, I know you are itching to get back to your own personal World Cup footie day preperations. Cuuuuuumon En ger land!!!!

Great Life Mystery 1.
The Bobby Charlton factor
Sir Bobby C.-1
Sir Bobby keeping up with England's paint-drying performances in Germany

Evidenced and highlighted to hell in the World Cup, my unblinking cat eyes glue to the telly when ever keeper gets excited by his fave side getting into an attacking position and the ball is passed to an allegedly expert striker on the edge of the penalty area and he has some space and . . . whack! He boots the ball like hell - gives it loads of welly in fact - and . . . . yes, over the crossbar it balloons. Not just inches over but often twenty or thirty feet over! From close range too.

Why does no one from the Linekar-chaired panel of half-cut pundits ever get this? These players are on 50 Grand Euros a week and they can't even shoot straight. I mean, the goal space is as big as twenty or so barn doors isitnot? Yowwwww! Whats going on? If Bobby Charlton could frequently bust the back of the net with his right boot from darned near the halfway line, what's it with these here new millenium players?

Do you imagine maybe they perhaps need to re-design the football boot in fact? I must ask AJN Spencer the Sportsfan blogger about this, perhaps he can enlighten us?

Great Life Mystery 2.
Double Decker Destruction

Again the image accosts my unblinking cat eyes as a still pic gazing up from the daily rag that keeper bores me to hell with every day. It's laying spreadeagled across the vegetable samosa snack crumbs-unhoovered floor today, open at yet another story of yet another bus driver totally excelling himself.

Maybe this is how it went.

A bus driver who, by all accounts has been used to driving single story buses for donkies years. But yesterday everyone was off on a WC sickie so his Blakey at the depot stuck him on a double decker route and it must have been a busy day and he was no doubt tired and hot and had other things on his mind (WC footie) and he was in a hurry and he knows this great shortcut back to the garage and . . . whoops here comes that LOW BRIDGE!

You get the picture? Whole top half of the bus lopped off! Luckily there's hardly ever anyone onboard; but hell! That image! At 8, I'm no spring chicken of a cat but can remember seeing these same double decker meets low bridge decapitation scenes appearing on paper and screen regular as clockwork every two months year after year.

You would think by now someone would come up with a way to prevent this terrible bus carnage? For all you humans' harping on about new tek cures and advances, there are some basic stupidities that seem never destined to change. . . whoops. . oh look, there's another World Cup shot ballooning into the crowd again! Keeper lets loose a loud sarcastic inebriated jeer from the couch and shrieks " LAMPARD YOU LEMON ! ".
Yer "world class striker" is playing like a goddam schoolboy.

. .life goes on. . .

Yours ever,

CATHEAD